Archive for June, 2010

As I mentioned in my last post, during my trip to China, my parents became extremely aware of my income source of the past several months. I omitted almost all the details but I’m giving them to you now. This is the most foolproof way to lose everything in a matter of minutes, assuming your family is similar to mine (mostly WASPS with a few Eastern European Catholics thrown in).

Step 1: Make your living through a morally repugnant field.

This step is the most easily modified. You don’t have to make a living off of it. The money could be for a higher standard of living, college tuition, booze, strippers, or the massive amounts of Taco Bell you insist on picking up on your way home, only to sit in front of your computer for hours and jack off to images on the Internet. Whatever. Secondly, the field doesn’t have to be morally repugnant, it can simply be illegal or below your perceived social status. However, violating morals and values is a surefire way to alienate the hyper-religious folk (NOTE: I’m not denigrating religion. Laugh all you want, but I believe in God. I’m condemning organized religion. Difference).

I am more than qualified to comment on this. I’ll assume that if you’ve read this far, you know what I did for my money. I worked hard for it. In a field that’s sometimes considered the lowest of the low, especially by the religious right wing, feminists (but not liberal feminists), and my parents, I rose through the hooker hierarchy pretty quickly. I was making bank. I bought a car. I bought clothes. I paid off debts. I paid for everything. But who cares about fiscal security and responsibility if what you’re doing to achieve it isn’t all pretty and clean from the outside? Exactly. So go on, get out there and reeeally concentrate on offending people’s morals.

Step 2: Hide said living through an ever-growing web of excuses, cover-ups, and lies.

Keep plans vague. Always have an alibi. Have every electronic communication device in your control on passcode/password lockdown. Don’t make it obvious shit, either. For example, if you have an iPhone, don’t make your birthdate or the last four digits of your SSN your passcode. Make it the numerical equivalent of “cunt” or some other four-letter word. This is simple stuff, stuff we all learned back in grade school when we were sneaking out to drink Smirnoff Ice in some kid’s basement. But I’m warning y’all, it is so easy to slip up. You can get comfortable in your web and forget that you have something major to hide. And that’s when it all begins to crumble.

This step was my failure point. While I hid the hooking well, I made a huge booboo in the end. I [supposedly] left my home laptop running and logged into my email when I left for China. My theory is that my dad installed a key-logger on my laptop when I wasn’t looking, as my most recent virus scan pinged a bit of key-logging spyware. Regardless, as I said earlier, my dad hopped on here and found a whole slew of parental nightmares. Not only did he and my mother find my emailed reports from SubtleDig identifying me as the occasional writer for BH, they went ahead and checked out the blog itself. And then they took it a step further and read all of the logged chat conversations between myself and The Boy, including the more recent ones covering my covert vacation with him and my theorized foray into porn. Did I mention they found it on Mother’s Day, hours after I boarded a plane for Beijing? Coming home was less than pleasant.

3. When confronted, adamantly defend your decisions and assert your status as a free adult. 

The third step is the most important if you want your entire family ripped away from you. Whatever behavior you’ve engaged in will appear even worse when you defend yourself. There will be yelling and tears and threats. Top it all off by reminding your family that you are an adult, at least from a legal standpoint. This will really seal the deal, and all you have to do to get kicked out and be written out of everyone’s will is count to ten. And there you have it.

Here’s where the story ends for me. A full twenty-four hours after I had arrived back on U.S. soil, my parents dropped the bomb. They knew everything, or at least thought they did. They knew enough. I explained why I chose escorting. I’m twenty-one. I haven’t finished college yet. Tuition just went up another thousand dollars a semester, and my college fund will run out long before I graduate. Bills need to be paid. When my last car broke down in four different ways at once, my only saving grace was the money I had stockpiled for a new car. 

Above all else, I didn’t and still don’t want to feel indebted to my parents. I cannot stand asking them for gas money, beer money, spending money, any kind of money. Despite telling me they’ll gladly help me out and then some, their actions always prove otherwise. My mother whines like a five-year-old when I tell her my boobs or my butt have surpassed my current wardrobe and I need new clothes. She huffs and puffs when my tuition needs to be paid, even though for the time being, the money for that has already been set aside. Not even by her, but by my grandfather. My dad gets cranky when I point out that my tires are bald or the house is nearly out of groceries. Every cent they give me feels as though there are enough strings attached to negate the money’s value.

In any event, I was given a choice. I could abandon my [admittedly stressful] way of life and stay at home, with mom and dad supposedly paying for everything, or I could do what I wanted to do and get the fuck out. Not just out of the house, but out of my family. Forever. My parents and grandparents were poised to write me out of their wills. My mother planned to cut off all contact between my sister and me. She even went so far as to say they would arrange a time when they were home to allow me to collect my things. It would be an eviction from my entire life.

I chose my family. I am still hurt and angry, but I’m able to face my parents now without wanting to scream most of the time. No one else in my family has mentioned the situation, and I’m grateful to them. As for the future of the blog, I don’t know where it will go. I’ll continue writing here and there until they get rid of me. I assume it’s difficult to find escorts willing and able to write about their exploits. Perhaps I’m wrong.

I’m almost certain one or both of my parents now monitor this blog, so I’ll go ahead and ask what’s been on my mind for days: Was it worth it? Was all the pain and anger and confusion worth satisfying your curiosity about my life outside the family? 

Are you happier knowing?

I fail at updating. What’s new. In my weak defense, I’ve been stuck in a bit of a vortex lately. I went to China for a few weeks and barely touched the internet in my time there. Then it all came crashing down when I came home. The details will come eventually, but the jist of it is: I supposedly left my home laptop logged on to my email when I left for my trip. I live at home because I’m cheap. My dad, curious cat that he is, went romping through my email and found… Everything he probably never wanted to find. Oops.

So my life is on hiatus until everything is sorted out. I’m sure none of you will understand, and that’s okay. Just thought I’d throw a little explanation out there.